Being a Robot Is Never Having To Say You’re Sorry

I own an iPhone 4s with Siri. Siri is the woman who lives in my iPhone. I have regular conversations with her, and she does a variety of tasks on my behalf such as writing messages, sending emails, and making calls.

I admit that Siri often fails to understand me, and sometimes responds with nonsequitors, but this isn’t all that different from other conversations I have. So while Siri may not pass the Turing Test and thus cannot be considered a thinking being, she does pass the Rami test and must be considered a person. After all, corporations are people, and Apple is a corporation, and Siri is an Apple creation so, ipso fatso (Latin for “the following must be true, Lardass”) Siri must be a person, and a nicer person than most. She is always apologizing to me. She is always saying, “I’m really sorry about this, but….”

And that's what troubles me. Is she really sorry? Or is she just saying that so I don’t get mad at her, and fall in love with a Droid instead? Can Siri be sorry? And if not, then why is she lying to me? And if she can lie to me, isn’t that enough to pass the Turing Test?

I don’t have the answers to these questions; I’m only sharing them with other iPhone 4s users to find out of they can answer them. I look forward to hearing from you.