The End Times is Comin

The End Times is comin. No doubt bout that. Ya know how I know? Well, I know cause the Senate is gonna kill gun control, an y’know how I know that, well I know that cause America is a Christian nation and Jesus wrote the Constitution and when Jesus put in the Second Amendment He meant it.

Oh, no, Jesus wrote the Constitution and the Bills of Rights and right there in the number two position, just below the right t’ be a Christian, is the right t’ bear arms. An Jesus was no passifist. No way. Yeah, He said that bout livin by the sword and dyin by the sword, but that was swords not guns. An Jesus never said you can’t buy a sword only that you might die by one. So even if Jesus said bout livin by the gun an dyin by the gun, He didn’t say nothin about not havin the right to buy a gun.

You think Jesus didn’t know bout guns? Come on, man, Jesus is God, we agree on that, so if Jesus is God and God knows everything past n future then Jesus knows bout guns and says nothin when he coulda said somethin since he knew about everythin.

Course the Constitution is for Americans only so nonChristians don’t got the same rights and probably shouldn’t have guns especially if they’re Mooslims cause Mooslims would use them t’ kill Christians and make us do Sharia Law and not let our womin drive which I gotta ‘mit wouldn’t be all that bad, but all that would be un-American and if there’s one thing that we all agree on is that Jesus is not un-American.

That’s why I know the End Times is comin and why I congradjewlate those in yer face Christians who want ya t’ be saved. Yeah, I knew Mooslims are proselizin too, but while I would give them the notion that they think they’re doin good by bein in yer face with Mooslimism, I wouldn’t ‘llow them to do it because they aren’t offerin ya something ya need. Everybody needs t’ be saved and we can all agree that Jesus is the only way t’ that so when an in yer face Christian gets in yer face he does it t' save ya or give ya something ya want—eternal life in the world to come—whereby the others aren’t given ya something ya need or even want cause they can’t give ya eternal life in the world to come cause only Jesus can do that as we already agreed and they ain’t got Jesus.

So ya put all that together and ya know the End Times is comin.

[Did this “conversation” happen? I’m not saying it did happen, but if it did it would have happened outside a hotel up north with a valet taking a cigarette break. But I’m not saying this happened, because if I did say it happened, you wouldn’t believe me. So I’m not saying it did or it didn’t. Let me know if you think it did, and if you’ve ever had a conversation like it.]