Not only did I kill Jesus, and continue to mix the blood of Christian babies with my Passover matzah, now it seems that I am responsible for the collapse of the global economy.
A recent survey of Americans published in Boston Review finds that 65% of Americans think my fellow Jews and I are responsible for the Great Recession.
I know what you’re thinking (besides the thought, “He has no idea what I’m thinking,” see I told you I knew what you were thinking)—most of these people are Republicans. But no, only 18.4% of Republicans think this way, while 32% of Democrats do.
Democrats!?! Are you kidding me? But I voted for Obama! I cried at the Kennedy memorial (though mostly because the coverage pre-empted my regular programming). I am a liberal for God’s sake. Why blame me? I lost money, too. Can it really be I have to hang with Sarah Palin to keep from being hung by my fellow Democrats? Damn!
The study goes on and on, and I just couldn’t read it all. It was too scary. Bottom line: Americans are growing more and more angry, and more and more eager to blame someone for their problems, and since it is no longer kosher for anyone other than Glenn Beck to blame our problems on black people, guess whose top on America’s hit list? Yep, the Jews.
With the Catholic Church deciding it is once again time to convert the Jews (see my last blog entry), and the majority of Americans blaming Jews for the state of the economy, is it time for us Jews to consider moving on? It could be.
I’m not saying we need to pack up and run just yet, but I would definitely keep my eyes and ears open. We used to say “America is different,” and it may be. But Americans aren’t. People love scapegoats, and we Jews are no exception. In fact we invented the idea of the scapegoat. Look it up in the Bible. The only difference is we used real goats, not people.
But where would we run? Europe? Nope. Thirty-one per cent of Europeans blame the Jews for the economy, so forget Europe. Israel? Most Israelis blame Jews for their economy, but that is because they are mostly Jews, so maybe if we have to run somewhere that is where we will run. But I hate the idea of putting all Jews in one basket (as opposed to putting one Jew in one basket which is the story of Passover). Makes us too easy to blot out. So I’m thinking China. (I know last Friday I suggested we consider Amsterdam, and I am not abandoning the Netherlands, just hedging my bets.)
Why China? First, because I love the Tao te Ching. Second, because Jewish people love Chinese food. Third, because their economy isn’t as bad off as ours, so they aren’t blaming the Jews. Yet. If things go south I assume the Chinese people will suddenly discover that the ruling junta were all Jews in disguise. Scooby Dooby Jew!
Anyway, all I’m saying is that we have seen this before and it never turns out well for us. When will you know it is time to run? When it turns out that page 64,532 of the final healthcare reform bill has a paragraph that mandates the wearing of yellow Stars of David by all Jews. Then come the real death panels. Try to be packed by then.