Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year's Day Pondering

Here is something worth pondering this New Year’s Day: When asked if it is true that the earth orbits the sun, and that a complete orbit takes about 365 days, over fifty-one percent of Americans said… wait for it… “No.”

I don’t know about you, but I love living in a country populated largely by idiots. Why? It makes me appear smarter, and I like being smarter, especially if all I have to is graduate the fifth grade.

Yet I understand why most people don’t believe in the Orbiting Earth Theory (OET). First, it is a theory, and as everyone knows theories are only guesses. Second, if the earth orbits the sun then the Bible is wrong when it says Joshua stopped the sun from orbiting the earth so he could finish slaughtering the Amorites (Joshua 10:13), and if the Bible is wrong about this maybe it is wrong about homosexuality, and that would be the ruin of everything. And third, if the Orbiting Earth Theory is true life is meaningless.

Why do I say that the Orbiting Earth Theory leads to meaninglessness? It’s simple: if the earth just goes around and around the sun it never gets anywhere. There is no point to it. And if that is true of the earth, how much more true it must be of those of us who live on the earth. Rapture me up, Scotty! This planet is a dead end.

Think about it: Today is January 1st. Last January 1st the earth was just about in the same place it is today relative to the sun. So what was the point of the orbit? Why travel millions and millions of miles just to end up in the same place? It’s like people who race around a track; what is the point? They never get anywhere. The winner is the person who gets nowhere fastest. What kind of competition is that? Why not just sit down at the Start/Finish line and wait for all the others to come back to you?

I would rather live on a planet that was going somewhere. Then again I would rather live a life that was going somewhere also. Sure things are different today than they were last January 1st, but not in any significant way. I mean I change my underwear every day, but my butt is always the same. Since last January I have changed underwear 365 times (and plan to do so 366 times this year since it is a leap year) but I am fairly certain that my ass hasn’t and isn’t going to get any smaller, tighter, or more attractive. So what is the point?

There isn’t any. With apologies to Rich Warren, life has no purpose. It isn’t going anywhere. There isn’t anywhere to go. So you might as well make the most of it. While you’re speeding through space just to end up back here again in 366 days, why not laugh a little more, read a little more, dance a little more, make someone else smile, lend a hand to someone in need, and stop measuring yourself against some artificial idea of purpose. And you could learn a little science this year, that wouldn’t hurt either. Oh, and don’t forget to change you underwear.

3 comments:

Robert said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robert said...

This feels very ZEN-TAOIST to me and slightly depressing. The point was no Point, pointless, with out meaning?
I did get a chuckle out of it.
Peace
Bob B.

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