Monday, October 15, 2012


My post on the Crossakkiah ® resulted in more than a few choice emails being sent to me privately. I appreciate the feedback, and only encourage some of my readers to look up the word “satire” in the dictionary. But passion is passion, and I do my best to learn something from the mail I receive. Mostly I learn that many people are idiots, but sometimes I learn something more.

In this last batch of irate emails, I discovered another money–making gem. “Rather than insult the Religion of Christ, why not insult the pagans and their satanic unholy day, Halloween?” Why not indeed?

The Crossakkiah®, like the Menorament® that inspired it, blends Jewish and Christian symbols for Christmas. Why not do the same with Halloween? So here are some products I may bring out for next year:

Pumpkrist ® is a jack-o-lantern on which the face of Jesus magically appears when you place a lighted candle inside the hollow plastic pumpkin. I could also call this Jes-o-lantern®. Tell me which name you prefer. A version of the Pumpkrist ® with Mary’s face on it might be called Our Lady of the Orange Vegetable®.

I haven’t got a Jewish version of the Halloween pumpkin yet, but I welcome your suggestions.

Handing out and gorging on candy is the central ritual of Halloween, and candy is easily made over in our image. For example, Kit Kat bars could be melted together in the shape of a Cross, and an “r” can be added to Payday wrappers so you can handout Prayday bars.

Again I’m drawing a blank when it comes to Judaizing Halloween candy, but I’m sure you can submit something. Just use the comments section as my email is crammed with Crossakkiah ® hate mail.


Erick Reynolds said...

You may be vulnerable to more nasty email.
Halloween is a contraction “All-Hallows Eve” as it the night before All Saints' Day (also called All Hallows or Hallowmas). It is another attempt by Christians to supplant a pagan festival with religious mass. This time it is the celebration of the harvest (pumpkins and corn stalks) mixed with the festival of the dead (skeleton and zombies). Despite the religious linked name, Christian symbols never seemed to be carved into pumpkins or added to candy wrappers. This is a wide open market for other religions.

While we are at it, the spring fertility festival with flowers, bunnies and colored eggs has never really been fully subjugated to the celebration of the Crucifixion. They are simultaneously celebrated but they really don’t mix. There is nothing wrong with other religions embracing the bunnies and colored eggs thing as much as Christians have.
There is a little "pagan" in all of us and I don't think that is a bad thing.

Erick Reynolds said...
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joanne said...

I guess I'm curious about why hate mail is sent privately to you via email rather than posted publicly to be shared with your readers. Your post was public, why not have the feedback be public?. If someone disagrees with you or feels offended, why not speak up about it? We could all learn better to understand one another's perspectives and see where the other is coming from. If one's religion demands no satire, then wouldn't it be worth standing up for that in this public town hall? For that matter, if someone's religion makes those demands, why would they be reading a blog titled "Beyond Religion" in the first place?

migali said...

What I like best about Rami--

"Humor is just another defense against the universe." ~Mel Brooks

migali said...
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Lori said...

Gosh! I'm sorry you received hate mail. I thought your satire was in the best tradition of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert (maybe others I don't know).Stay the course, Rabbi Rami.We need some humour these days! Imagining a pumpkin dreidel...a dreidkin?

Maggid said...

agreeing with Migali -

Mary said...

Dude! Carve a menorah into the pumpkin!

Mary said...

Dude! Carve a menorah into the pumpkin!

Barry said...

Rabbi Joe (my spouse in some places, "roomate" in others), suggests waving a pumpkin with a palm frond, willow and myrtle in six directions.