My post on the Crossakkiah ® resulted in more than a few choice emails being sent to me privately. I appreciate the feedback, and only encourage some of my readers to look up the word “satire” in the dictionary. But passion is passion, and I do my best to learn something from the mail I receive. Mostly I learn that many people are idiots, but sometimes I learn something more.
In this last batch of irate emails, I discovered another money–making gem. “Rather than insult the Religion of Christ, why not insult the pagans and their satanic unholy day, Halloween?” Why not indeed?
The Crossakkiah®, like the Menorament® that inspired it, blends Jewish and Christian symbols for Christmas. Why not do the same with Halloween? So here are some products I may bring out for next year:
Pumpkrist ® is a jack-o-lantern on which the face of Jesus magically appears when you place a lighted candle inside the hollow plastic pumpkin. I could also call this Jes-o-lantern®. Tell me which name you prefer. A version of the Pumpkrist ® with Mary’s face on it might be called Our Lady of the Orange Vegetable®.
I haven’t got a Jewish version of the Halloween pumpkin yet, but I welcome your suggestions.
Handing out and gorging on candy is the central ritual of Halloween, and candy is easily made over in our image. For example, Kit Kat bars could be melted together in the shape of a Cross, and an “r” can be added to Payday wrappers so you can handout Prayday bars.
Again I’m drawing a blank when it comes to Judaizing Halloween candy, but I’m sure you can submit something. Just use the comments section as my email is crammed with Crossakkiah ® hate mail.