Monday, July 05, 2010

144KJews

I’m looking for a few good Jews; 144,000 of them in fact. These Jews are to be “bond–servants of God” (Revelation 7:3) and will evangelize the world in the Name of Jesus Christ when He returns to earth sometime in the next few decades. We will gather on Mt. Zion in Jerusalem to welcome Jesus upon His return, and to sing a song heard from heaven that only we Jews can sing (Revelation 14:2-3). What is that song? Read on.

God needs 144,000 Jews, “children of Israel,” (Revelation 7:4) to evangelize the world when His Son returns. Jews, not Christians; odd isn’t it? But then we are His Chosen, and Jesus is one of us, so maybe it isn’t so odd after all. If this is what God needs, I for one am more than willing to help. And so too, I hope, are you.

I know this may be challenging for some Jews. After all we Jews don’t believe Jesus is the Messiah. But that is why our testimony to the contrary is so necessary. People who see Jesus in a rust stain or slice of pizza are hardly credible witnesses. And, honestly, if Jesus does return, descending upon Mount Zion from the heavens accompanied by an angelic host, would you still have a problem proclaiming Him Messiah? So keep your Judaism, hold to your doubts and skepticism, but come on board just in case. God needs you.

The challenge is knowing when to gather in Jerusalem to welcome Cousin Jesus. This is where I come in. I am creating a new foundation called 144KJews. Our mission is to gather together 144,000 Jews willing to welcome the Messiah when He comes.

Membership in the foundation is limited to Jews, and dues are $1 annually. Members will receive monthly updates on the coming of the Messiah, access to our Clock of the Second Coming which will visually depict how soon the return can be expected, and the opportunity to purchase a variety of cool 144KJew stuff—lapel pins, bags, tee-shirts, hats, etc. I will work with various airlines to help members get the lowest airfares and hotel rates, and for those who wish to travel the country, I will run two-week tours prior to the Second Coming.

But wait! That’s not all! Members of 144KJews will also be taught the song that only Jews can sing when Jesus returns. (Hint: it’s in a minor key.)

Because some of my best friends are Christians, I will also create Friends of the 144KJews. Membership in this supporting organization will receive the same updates and access to the Clock of the Second Coming, but they will not be taught the song nor be allowed to stand with us on Mount Zion. Membership in Friends of the 144KJews is $10 per year.

Before I invest too heavily in this venture, I would like to hear from you as to your interest in this foundation. Specifically: If you are a Jew, would you join and send me a dollar? If you are not Jewish, would you join Friends and send me ten dollars?

If some of you have Jewish friends, please pass the word on to them and see if they are interested.

Thanks, and see you on Mount Zion!

10 comments:

Tiffany said...

You are, what my mother calls, a pot stirrer.
Of course, if you didn't stir, then the bottom of the pot would burn. And the ingredients wouldn't blend together.
Cheers Rabbi!

zensandy said...

Rabbi,

Let me get this straight: the Christians don't get the learn the secret song, don't get to stand on Mt. Zion, but have to pay 10 times as much? Hmm... What's the Buddhist rate? :)

Donna said...

What about converts? Can we join the 144K Jews or do we have to join the friends group? I really want to learn the song... ;)

Rabbi Rami said...

Converts get to learn the song, but Buddhists have to master silence.

Susan said...

Now I see how these followings get started! I'd happily join as a Jew friend just to see where you'd take us. Assuming, of course, you don't Swaggart the money away. Sign me up!

Raksha said...

Re "Our mission is to gather together 144,000 Jews willing to welcome the Messiah when He comes."

Hey, I'm Jewish and I'm willing to welcome the Messiah any day of the week. There's just one catch, though: I'm willing to welcome the Messiah no matter who he is, even if he isn't Jesus--which he probably won't be. Can I still join the club? I'll see if I can scrounge up a dollar while I'm waiting for your answer.

Old Lady said...

LOL-OMG that's gonna piss off a lot of Jehovah Witness!

Claire said...

I'm in for a dollar. I'm curious, do I have to pay for my own airfare to Jerusalem?

Steph said...

Houston, we have a problem. I thought I was the new messiah. But, if not, since I am not Jewish, I would like to be a groupie. Really, I want to hang out in Cuba for the awaiting part. I'm really worried about never learning the salsa (I hear the clock ticking) and, well, Cubans could use the money ( if briefly). Stay in touch on the time thing.

James said...

I'm wondering if there is a family rate. I'd like to send $7 for both my wife and myself. $1 for my wife who is Jewish, and $5 for me (father's side Jewish, mother's side Irish Catholic) with a $1 penalty for having a non-Jewish mother. Also, my wife wants to know if she learns the song, can she sing it with me around?