For years I have doubted the efficacy of prayer. I have read the studies and despite misinterpretations to the contrary there is no evidence that prayer works. Until now, that is. Because today my prayer has been answered.
Yes, I see the inconsistency here. I don’t believe in prayer and yet I pray. So sue me. And what do I pray for? The end of National Prayer Day. And that day has come. Well, almost, sort of.
United States District Court Judge Barbara Crabb of the Western District of Wisconsin has ruled National Prayer Day to be in violation of the Constitution of the United States of America. Halleluiah! This doesn’t mean we can’t have a National Prayer Day only that the national government can’t endorse it. It is the same thing with National Car Rental. You can have it but the government can’t endorse it over Hertz or Avis or some other company.
Anyway, here’s a bit of insider information on Judge Crabb on why she may hate God if she does. I have no idea if this is true, but if Crabb is her maiden name and if she went through grade school with the name Crabb she must have had a miserable time: “Hey, Babs, why so crabb-y?” “Watch out guys, you don’t want to date Barbara. You’ll get crabs for sure, heh, heh, heh.” No wonder she hates God, look at the name he stuck her with. She probably prayed and prayed for a different name and nothing happened, so she went to college and law school and got appointed a judge so she could at long last have her revenge. If you think that is far fetched, remember that B.H. Obama spent decades pretending to be American born so he could become president and destroy this country.
Anyway Justice Crabb-y ruled that a national day of prayer is unconstitutional because the government can’t endorse prayer. Man, what is this country coming to? You can force a person to buy health insurance but you can’t urge them to pray? Does that make sense?
Yes it does. Why? Because it is part of Obama’s plan to insure we all get insurance. Everyone but scientists (except Christian Scientists) knows that prayer is the best insurance. If God wants you to be sick and broke that is God’s business, and insuring yourself against this is the devil’s work. But praying for God not to do this to you is good work and a hell of a lot cheaper than buying health insurance from some corporation. But Obama wants you to buy that insurance because he needs big corporations to fund his other efforts to socialize America so he is working to outlaw prayer, which is the better insurance. If you can’t pray, then you had better buy insurance. So you can see how this works.
I know that Her Honor Babs the Crabby Crabb God-hater didn’t outlaw prayer, but that is where things are going. Soon even impromptu prayers like “God Damn It!” will be against the law.
Why does this upset me? I am, after all, skeptical about prayer. True, but I was looking forward to the food at our local National Prayer Day breakfast. Now I heard that instead of eggs they are serving Crabb cakes. Not kosher. Nothing for me to eat. God damn it!