Wednesday, December 03, 2008

The Proof is in the Body Count

According to the Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism the United States will experience a biological or nuclear terrorist attack before the year 2013. Whoa! Did you hear that? An attack is coming. Not if, just when. And not any “when” but “soon”.

You might think that with this clear warning from the Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism we will find a way to prevent this horror, but, since the Commission says the attack is inevitable, I think we might better use the time by getting a jumpstart on whom to blame when the terrorists do strike.

To get things going, let me identify the likely culprit. No, not crazy religious people, but atheists. Yep, you heard me—atheists: the people who don’t believe in any god will be responsible for the deaths of thousands at the hands of those who believe God sanctions the murders and rewards the murderers. Here’s why:

In 2002 the Kentucky Office of Homeland Security was ordered by the Kentucky state legislature to stress God’s role in homeland security. In 2006 the state was required to post a plaque affirming that the security of the state “cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon almighty God.” Just where they put this plaque I have no idea, but wherever it was it pissed off the atheists who are suing to have the plaque and the affirmation of God’s role in homeland security removed. Are they nuts? This is going to piss almighty God off big time. Allah is already angry with us (hence the inevitable terrorist attack), so the last thing we need is to have YHVH pissed off as well. But do these atheists care? Not one bit. Where is Torquemada when you need him?

My question is this: Will God be angry only with the state of Kentucky, or will the Almighty blame the entire country for this blasphemy? We will find out when the terrorists strike. If their attack is limited to Kentucky we will know God didn’t punish the innocent along with the guilty (this time). But if the attack hits the whole country we will know whom to blame—the atheists.

Of course this isn’t the only problem with the Kentucky law. Both the Kentucky legislature and the jihadists argue that God is on their side, so the Kentucky law is also a clear test of whose god is God. If the Kentucky law withstands the atheist legal challenge, and the US is still attacked as the Commission insists it will be, then we will know that Allah is God and YHVH is a pansy. If the law stands and the terrorists are foiled, then YHVH wins and Allah loses.

If, on the other hand, the Kentucky law falls to the infidels and the US is attacked, we still can’t be sure that YHVH is God, but we can be pretty sure that if YHVH is God He no longer loves us, and won’t love us until we purge our land of the atheist plague. If, on the other other hand, the Kentucky law falls and America is spared a terrorist attack, then we know the atheists are right and the Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism is full of crap.

Of course the best scenario would be if the terrorists’ attack blows up in their own country and kills thousands of their own people. Then we would know that YHVH is God and Allah is a pansy.

Sure it’s too bad that the only way to know which god is God is by body count, but, hey, I didn’t invent these religions, I just take them seriously.

12 comments:

Eruesso said...

Of course the atheist could launch an attack in Kentucky and make it look like it was the work of Jihadist terrorists (who would suspect atheists anyway). And they could also claim that if a God did exist either one would have stopped them. It's a win/win for their cause. Not only does it prove that religion and God needs to be done away with it gets rid of a few of His worshipers. And an Atheist suicide bomber really doesn't have to worry about heaven or hell (since they don't exist)as long as no one suspects that they atheists were behind the attack. Long live Science!

Rabbi Rami said...

Could there be an atheist suicide bomber? Sure. People can be motivated by all kinds of nonreligious ideologies. It might be that the state rather than god promotes the value of terrorism.

I want people to be free of all this brainwashing. But do I really want a world, as imagined by John Lennon, where there is nothing to kill or die for?

Gandhi said he was willing to die for freedom but not willing to kill for freedom. If he had been willing to kill for freedom would there have been more or less people dying for freedom?

I want to say there is nothing I would kill for, but I doubt that is true. And I like the idea that there are things I would be willing to die for, but I wonder if that is really true.

vania said...

I'm a scientist - so I'm with you Eruesso "long live science" if not, I'll be living in a cardboard box under an over-pass somewhere.

Would I die for my beliefs - maybe but I think "martyrdom" is a fricken joke - G-d doesn't want people to kill and be killed in His name.

I definitely would, without hesitation, die and yes, even kill for my children. May nothing ever harm them.

"Killing" in this case would be only in defense of my kids.

I can't see an atheist as a suicide bomber - what does he have to gain?

Patti said...

What does anyone who is willing to commit suicide have to gain? I think suicide is more about hopelessness, escape and revenge than attainment in this world or the next.

Rabbi Rami said...

The interview with the one terrorist who survived in Mumbai said that he signed on in exchange for money for his family. He wasn't motivated by faith, but by the need to provide for his family. How sad that we can't address that need.

As for the "long live science" bandwagon, make room for me. But the question still remains: Would you be willing to die for science? Galileo wasn't.

Patti said...

As we know, many suicide bombers are pushed to the act by being told that their families will be killed if they don’t comply. In keeping with this conversation, obviously families are a strong motivating factor in these regions. South of Baghdad, where my younger son is stationed, is quiet because the Americans have been paying the possible insurgents to "not fight". They get paid an hourly wage, are monitored by the Iraqi Army and their families are cared for without anyone having to die. It used to be one of the most violent areas in Iraq. A big rub now is, will the Iraqi government take over making the payments in March as per an agreement with the Americans? We can do much, but eventually these people will determine if this practice is continued.

Would I die for science? I like science, but again, it is a man-made discipline. Should I put my faith in that anymore than religion? Kinda scares me a bit.

Eruesso said...

I didn't mean to propel this into a discussion about if an atheist could be a suicide bomber but that anyone can be responsible for such a terrible atrocity. The "Long Live Science" quote is from an episode of South Park where one of the characters, Eric Cartman, ends up hundreds of years in the future where religion has been eradicated and has been replaced by warring Atheist factions.

You can watch the episode here but I warn those that aren't familiar with South Park that it's pretty vulgar. The two part episodes are called "Go God Go" and "Go God Go XII".
http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/index.php?season=10

My apologies to Rabbi Rami or anyone else if I soiled the dialogue by mentioning such a vile show (I still watch it though).

Rabbi Rami said...

I am a fan of South Park, and it is episodes like these that are the staple of my Religion in American Popular Culture class at MTSU.

Immanuel said...

Explanation

The triumphalist and monofocussed Israelis living in Hebron must be understood in the context of the Anti-Jew ethnic cleansing that took place there in 1929
and the Islamic terror that blows up pensioners and children on a Tel Aviv bus must be understood in the context of Palestinian disposession
and Palestinian dispossession must be understood in the context of a 3000 year old narrative that has placed Zion and Jerusalem at the centre of Jewish life, and in the context of European and Arab Jew hatred
and European and Arab Jew hatred must be understood in the context of the general human propensity to avoid and to blame and to project and to fear
and the general human propensity to avoid and blame must be understood in the context of a
G-d who is the G-d of creation
but also of destruction

Peter M. Schogol said...

Kentucky. Why does it always have to be Kentucky?

Peter Schogol
Lexington, KY

Immanuel said...

If you are ever to be numbered amongst the achronim you will be, perhaps, known as the Ravram.

"The Ravram says....but the Rashbam disagrees" etc etc

Mike Smith and Rami Shapiro said...

The Ravram. Hmmm. It has a good ring to it. Technically these names use the initials of the rabbi. Since my full Hebrew name is Rabbi Rachmiel ben Yisrael, I would have to be called the Rarabi. Which is why I'll stick with Rabbi Rami.