OK, so yesterday I was all "Give Barack a Chance," but that was then and this is now. So what has Barack Obama done for me lately? I mean he’s been President- Elect for two days now and I don’t see any difference. The economy is a mess, we are still fighting two wars, and my health insurance isn’t as good as Senator John McCain’s. So what gives? What is the point of electing the messiah as president if nothing really supernatural happens?
Here is what I voted for: an America free of injustice, racism, sexism, ageism, ismism, xenophobia, homophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, anti-intellectualism, poverty, homelessness, greed, and environmental exploitation.
Here’s what I got: an American still mired in injustice, racism, sexism, ageism, ismism, xenophobia, homophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, anti-intellectualism, poverty, homelessness, greed, and environmental exploitation.
On top of that United Airlines just charged me $15 to check my bag on the plane. They wouldn’t let me carry it on because it had liquids in it. Prune juice to be exact. Yes, I drink prune juice. Did you know that John Wayne was carrying fifty-plus pounds of compacted manure in his system when he died? Now you know. Drink prune juice. No, I don’t know this for a fact, but you can check it out for yourself and let me know if it is a fact. In the meantime fiction will serve me just fine.
So back to Barack, how long is it going to take for this guy to bring real change? I mean, he promised change, I voted for change, change won, so where’s the change?
Oh wait, back to United for a moment. I will have to pay another $15 to have United fly my bag back to Nashville for me because it turns out I brought too many cans of prune juice with me and there is no way I can drink all that prune juice and still do my job. Is this the America I voted for?
OK, back to Barack. But wait! Speaking of planes, what is the deal with Obama needing a plane to get from place to place anyway? I thought, once elected, he would start to use his superpowers and fly around the country on the wings of hope.
So I don’t get it, and I’m starting to lose hope. Yes we can? Well, when can we? If he doesn’t act soon, I’m going to start thinking seriously about Palin in 2012.