Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Power of Juan

If you want to make money in the religion business you have got to start your own religion. I am fishing for some good ideas, and praying for God to guide me in this venture. As if in answer to my prayer, as I was watching a trailer for the movie called One, the Movie, I was struck with a revelation. God may be calling me to promote the Power of Juan.

Since I was sixteen I was convinced that God is one. Not simply one numerically, but the only one, all there is. Some forty years later I realize that I was wrong. I am not called to teach that God is one, but the truer belief that God is Juan:

HEAR O ISRAEL, THE LORD OUR GOD, THE LORD IS JUAN! THE LORD IS JUAN AND HIS NAME IS JUAN! BLESSED IS THE JUAN FOREVER AND EVER!

At last I realize the truth. But intellectual knowing is not enough. We need a practice of realizing the Juanness of all. This practice I call Juandering. It is a walking meditation practice incorporating the repetition of the Divine Name, Juan, leading to the state of Juanness, the state of being aware of the Juan in, with, and as all things. In addition thrice-daily prayer will be instituted were we ask God to make us Juan with everything.

Every faith needs a clergy, so I am creating the Holy Order of Juan, members of which will be called Juanitas. A bishop elected by the community itself will lead each local Juanita community. The bishop will be called Don Juan. Juanitas and their Don will gather on Day Juan of each week (Sunday to pagans) to Juander together through their respective neighborhoods singing praises to the Juan.

To help deepen our lives we will imitate the lives of saints. Chief among these is Jesus who taught that he and his Father are Juan. All of us can realize this as well.

Since we are all Juan we do not discriminate against women, homosexuals, beings of other species, or nature as a whole. There is also no room for infidels or the damned. There is simply Juan way to live: Juanderfully.

Of course a religion without an enemy lacks drama and that may make it more difficult to sell since there is no one to sell it to, so I single out those who have not yet realized the Juanness of all things. These people engage life from the state of Tunis, that state of mind that is not yet Juan and whole.

To promote my new faith I plan to film: “Juan, The Movie.” In it I travel the globe asking great religious leaders to speak of the Juan. As it becomes clear that each of these sages is committed to the Juan, I am certain that viewers of the film will join my faith and proclaim a new day of Juanness for all.

If you would like to become a Juanita and help develop this faith our most immediate need is for a logo and t-shirt. Then we will need a martyr. Let me know.

Yours in Juan,
Rami.

2 comments:

nd said...

I'll die for Juan and knowing Juan is to die.

Brian said...

To juanness,

-bri

:)