Thursday, September 18, 2008

Don't Put a Witch in the White House

Sarah Palin’s pastor is a witch hunter. The Rev. Thomas Muthee, pastor of Governor Palin’s church waged spiritual warfare against a fortunetelling witch in Kenya who he said was casting demonic spells and causing automobile accidents.

I realize that some of you will simply laugh this off as yet another example of 1) the left wing blogosphere attacking a good and righteous Christian; 2) the left wing blogosphere attacking a good and righteous Republican; or 3) the left wing blogosphere attacking a good and righteous nut job. Whatever your position I got to write “left wing blogosphere” three times (four if you count this one) which should be enough to drive you to vote for Palin-McCain in November. But there is more to this story, and you owe it to yourself and your country to think about it.

Let us review the facts: 1) Pastor Muthee hunted witches in Kenya; 2) Barack Obama’s father is from Kenya; ergo Barach Obama and his father are witches. This is the real reason John McCain chose Sarah Palin to join his team as VP: to recruit Pastor Muthee in the spiritual war against the Kenyan.

Want further proof? Think about this: Why hasn’t Barack Obama introduced us to his father? Sure, he says his father died in 1982, but does a witch die? Remember Barack Hussein Obama Sr. (Senator Obama’s father) was Kenyan; the only other Kenyan we know is a witch defeated by Pastor Muthee, ergo Barack Hussein Obama Sr. was a witch. Witches don’t die. If the Obama campaign wants to disprove this, let them exhume the body of the so-called dead witch of Kenya. They won’t do this because they know the tomb is empty.

Still not convinced? There's more:

The Kenyan Senator admits to being a community organizer. A witch coven is a community, hence Barack Obama admits to organizing covens in Chicago. It is widely rumored (or it will be after I post this blog) that the Witch from Chicago carries a voodoo doll of John McCain in his pocket, and uses a series of pins to the doll’s eyes, mouth, and trigger finger to blind Senator McCain to the economic plight of Americans, to cause the Senator to lie and misspeak, and to force him to act as if we were living a prequel to The Planet of the Apes. In fact it is easy to attribute all of Obama’s success and all of McCain’s stumbles and lies to witchcraft. Indeed I have just done so.

Governor Palin will bring a proven witch hunter into the White House. He, like others before him, will conduct witch-hunts that will rid this country of Kenyans of all kinds. Pastor Muthee has a proven track record in hunting down witches and thereby lessening traffic accidents which, as we all know, is the number one crisis facing America today.

So please think this through: Remember Salem; Vote for Palin.


Rebecca said...

The Fountain


Into the sunshine,

Full of the light,

Leaping and flashing

From morn till night!


Into the moonlight,

Whiter than snow,

Waving so flower-like

When the winds blow!

Into the starlight,

Rushing in spray,

Happy at midnight,

Happy by day.

Ever in motion,

Blithesome and cheery,

Still climbing heavenward,

Never aweary;

Glad of all weathers,

Still seeming best,

Upward of downward

Motion thy rest;

Full of a nature

Nothing can tame,

Changed every moment

Ever the same.

Ceaseless aspiring,

Ceaseless content,

Darkness or sunshine

Thy element;

Glorious fountain!

Let my heart be

Fresh, changeful, constant,

Upward like thee!

~~~by runescape gold

Jason said...

Factcheck time - Muthee is not the pastor at her church. He is a frequently invited guest, but not on the pastoral staff at the Wasilla Assembly of God. Check their website:

Still troubling, but it's an important distinction to make in terms of the relationship.

Karen said...

This means that, if McCain/Palin get elected, anyone who owns a broom, essential oils (the pretty smelly kind -- not the black icky kind), or a doll needs to hide in the closet. I guess I won't mind not cleaning my house, and my daughters are past the playing-with-dolls stage. But I will really miss all the great potions I make for wellness purposes or just to make my house smell nice.

Darn it! I already feel like I'm under suspicion for being "evil" as a non-church goer in the Bible belt! I don't know if I can handle all this STRESS!!! :-)

Karen said...

One more thought... If Obama gets elected, it would be a step up, right? I mean we've had the devil there for the past 8 years. Surely a witch is a few steps above that!

AaronHerschel said...

It's impossible. If Obama and co were witches, they would be doing much better in the poles. That is, unless Satan is slacking off lately.