I need to come to the defense of Fox News’ Megyn Kelly’s claim that Santa Claus “just is white.” Her claim, and the follow-up assertion that Jesus, too, is white, created quite a stir. In walking back her comments about Santa she declared she was kidding. Regarding her claim that Jesus was white, Megyn now says that issue isn’t yet settled. Wrong on both counts.
First, regarding her just kidding around, I listed to the tape of her rant a couple of times and she was not kidding, not even a little bit. She believed—and probably still believes—that Santa is white.
Second, regarding Jesus, the matter is settled: Jesus, a middle–eastern Jew, was brown. In fact, according to Karen Brodkin in her book How Jews Became White Folks, Jews weren’t considered white until after World War Two.
OK, Megyn was wrong on Jesus. But she was right about Santa. He’s white!
While the 13th century Saint Nicholas was olive or brown skinned, the Santa we know is based on the Dutch Sinterklass who is probably as white as Deniz Akkoyun (look her up). Sinterklass predates Christianity and may have some relation to the Norse God Odin, who, as far as I know, is also white. You can, as I did, check out Marvel’s The Mighty Thor to corroborate this claim.
Besides, the real Santa Claus, the only Santa that counts, the Santa Megyn and I know and love, was shaped to a large degree by the Coca-Cola company that featured him from 1931 delivering toys, reading his mail, and sipping Cokes as he flew from house to house. And as decades of Coke ads make abundantly clear: Santa is white.
[Little known fact one: It is drinking thousands of Cokes a year that allows Santa to maintain his figure. Little known fact two: Deniz Akkoyun probably doesn’t drink Coke, or, if she does, prefers Diet Coke to Santa’s original. Little known fact three: Santa hated New Coke and replaced all presents with coal at every house that tried to foist that crap on him.]
So Megyn don’t let the liberal lamestream media upset you. While you need to get used to a brown Jesus, (way more difficult than getting used to a brown president, I know) you can be comforted in the knowledge that Santa is as white as you and me. Or at least you; I’m a Jew.