According to the Huffington Post Mormons have baptized Anne
Frank for the ninth time. I guess it didn’t take the first eight times. I know
that lots of Jews hate the idea that they can be made into Mormons after they
die, but I don’t care. After all I don’t believe in heaven and hell, and I don’t
believe that some Mormon dunking himself in a baptismal font for my sake will
have impact on me at all.
But, on the off chance you can make a nonMormon into a
Mormon after the nonMormon has died, I want in. The next time a Mormon
missionary comes to my door I plan to slip him a sheet of paper with the names
of dead nonMormons I want converted to Mormonism. I will focus on those
self-righteous pious prigs who spent their lives spewing hate in the name of
Love. Take the Rev. Jerry Falwell for example.
Rev. Falwell died on May 15, 2007, and is certainly in
heaven as he was, according to his own reckoning, one of the few real
Christians on the planet Earth. Let’s say we now baptize him into the Church of
Latter Day Saints—we make him a Mormon, a member of a cult whose members in no
way go anywhere but to hell—bam! Jerry Falwell is in hell! He would have no
idea what happened or how he got there, and he would have no way of getting out
because his faith doesn’t offer posthumous conversions. Is that cool or what?
This could be loads of fun. Just read the obits, find the
names of the obnoxious faithful who have died and gone to heaven, and then
submit their names for posthumous Mormon Baptism. You might want to let them
enjoy heaven for a few days first so they can get all puffed up and
conceited about their fate, and then baptize them into Mormonism and send them
to hell. This is the ultimate revenge for all their religious bullying.
So start making your list and open you doors to the Mormon
ringing your bell.
5 comments:
That is a brilliant idea. Add any member of Westboro Baptist to that list!
Shalom Rav,
Personal attacks on dead guys like Rev Falwell, don't serve you well nor do vengeful suggestions
aimed at the newly dead. Talk about "puffed up and conceited" as you put it in your post.
Yeah, I know. I'm humorless.
Biv'racha,
Jordan
Well, ultimately we should have respect for all people, living or dead, even if they have hurt us with their comments.
The Rabbi is messing around here, showing the narrowness of people thinking they can assign other people to heaven or hell or call people long since gone Mormons. We can't. We sink into absurdity by doing such things.
Anne Frank is a potent symbol to the world and to Jews. Her memory should be respected. Isn't that what her diary tells us, among other things? To keep our sense of tolerance and respect even in difficult circumstances.
Absurd religious practices abound.
Responding with Love is beneficial.
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