I was browsing the religion section of the Franklin Barnes and Nobel when a well–dressed young man asked me, “Interested in these kinds of books?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Mind if I ask you a question?” he said.
“Are you a good person?”
“Sometimes” I said, knowing where this conversation was going. “Sometimes I’m a real SOB.”
“Have you ever told a lie or taken something that wasn’t yours?”
“Then you’re a liar and a thief. Are liars and thieves good people? Do you know what happens to liars and thieves? They spend eternity in Hell. Their only hope is accepting Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Are you ready to do that?”
“Burn in Hell or accept Jesus?”
“You asked me if I’m ready to burn in Hell or accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I’m not ready for either. In fact I don’t believe in either.”
“Listen, if you really believe that the Creator of the Universe is a sadistic torturer who needs the death of an innocent in order to forgive the guilty, you’ve got a major problem. If you dare speak of God as Love, and then imagine a god who will roast you in Hell for telling your friend she doesn't look like she's gained weight when in fact she does, then you're sick. We create gods in our own image, and if this god is your image I suggest you need serious psychiatric intervention. We’re you abused as a child by your dad? You should get help.”
“F#ck you!” he said as he stormed away.
I called after him: “Do you know what God does to people who swear? He makes them burn in Hell for ever.”
He gave me the finger. Jesus would be proud.