Sunday, June 07, 2009

Make Big Money With Small Ideas

Want to make big money in a down economy? I’ve got the solution.

People need low cost distractions from the stresses of everyday life, and what is a better distraction than a truly great attraction? Tourism is the key to success, but it has to be unique, and very affordable. And it has to be something you can set up in a few hours for very little money. So here is my idea: I’m going to incorporate “The Smallest “Blank” in the World Museum” and set it up as a franchise. For a mere $100 I will help you identify the perfect “The Smallest ‘Blank’ in the World Museum” for your area of the country.

The key to keeping costs low is to make sure that the smallest whatever is in fact invisible. For example: “The Smallest Ball of String in the World Museum” is a perfect roadside attraction you can build in your own apartment or backyard. Imagine, tourists walk into YOUR museum, plunk down $5 per person (kids under 12 months enter free) and walk into the “Amazing Global Info Center.” Here they are shown photographs of all kinds of string and introduced to the age-old argument between string, twine, thread, yarn, and rope as to which is the most authentic. The most authentic what is up to you. Be creative.

After being educated in the intricacies of string, visitors are ushered into a small booth similar to a mall photo booth where the world’s smallest ball of string is on display. Make the display attractive and inviting. What is in the display? Nothing. The smallest ball of string is so small no one can see it even with the aid of microscopes. You can even invite people to look at the ball of string through microscopes to prove that it is too small to be seen with such devices.

Of course someone will complain that there is nothing there, but that is where I come in. What you get for your $100 is a box containing a certificate of authorization proving that you are now the sole owner the World’s Smallest Whatever. This certificate will authenticate what it is you are showcasing, and that should shut up the most vocal critic.

To encourage buzz and word of mouth advertising I suggest you give each visitor a piece of the string from the ball in a special envelope with the name of YOUR museum printed on it.

Here are just some of the wonderful World’s Smallest Museum ideas I am waiting to offer you: “The Smallest Man in the World Museum,” “The Smallest Woman in the World Museum,” “The Smallest Dinosaur in the World Museum,” “The Smallest Forrest in the World Museum,” “The Smallest Bank Account in the World Museum.”

And this is only the beginning. Imagine the “The Smallest “Blank” in the Galaxy Museum” featuring all kinds of alien worlds and species. It can’t miss.

So what are you waiting for? Send me your check for $100 (no, not the world’s smallest $100 check, a normal sized check), and I will schedule a conference call with you, me, and the world’s smallest consulting team (you can’t hear them, but I can, so don’t worry that you are wasting your money; they will assure you this is a wise investment), and we will find the perfect “The Smallest “Blank” in the World Museum” for you and your community. Remember, there can only be one “The Smallest “Blank” in the World Museum” in any given subject so send your money in early to maximize your choice of museum options.


Maggid said...

You are so fun.

eashtov said...

Shalom Rav,

Is this an example of a "purple cow" to which Seth Godin refers?


AaronHerschel said...

Or you could, y'know, open the church of the world's smallest god.... Behold, o my people! The teeny weeny deity!

Freedom said...

Very Funny and instructive, too.

Reminds me of Swami Beyondenanda's "Nothingness Workshop" where you send him money, go to the "nothingness retreat" and NOTHING HAPPENS! (the Swami doesn't even show up!) :)